Taking Care of Our People
In these unprecedented and uncertain times, it's natural to feel a range of powerful and sometimes all-consuming emotions - fear, grief, anger, confusion, blame, judgment, sadness and despair.
Some people are also feeling a bright sense of hope for what's possible beyond this global crisis.
From my conversations with leaders so far this week, some don't know yet how they feel because they're deeply focused on taking care of their people - family and business.
When we feel strongly, it's common for us humans to reject and shut down our emotions due to the unfamiliarity of how powerful they are and their potential derailment of our focus. We judge our emotions, and ourselves for feeling how we do, we push away and deny them so we can get on with the task at hand.
It can almost feel like we don't feel anything. But it can also feel like a struggle to make it through the day without the need to collapse at the end of it.
To some extent our denial can help us meet the urgency head-on, and take care of our own and family's immediate survival. But at some point the emotions will build.
Leadership brings with it infinite responsibilities and in crisis, they are heightened. The last thing on our minds is spending time on how we actually feel. This disconnection from our feelings, however, makes us less effective in guiding others through their own emotional response.
How this plays out in our teams is that people can get lost in their fear while pretending everything is ok. In modelling their leaders, people can armour up quickly to adapt to a new normal. With many people working remotely now and into the foreseeable future, this armour can be easy to hide. Leaders ask "how are people feeling?" or "anything anyone needs?", but these vanilla-type questions will elicit vanilla-type responses, resulting in people feeling internally disconnected and isolated.
To keep people authentically connected, engaged, included and involved in where the team needs to go together, we need to acknowledge that each person in our teams will respond differently, even if it looks and sounds the same.
If you don't already, get to know the nuances of what makes each of your people tick. Understand the thinking that drives their behaviour, know that they are more than their reactions in any moment and take a little time to listen to what's going on behind their brave front.
Some people won't need much from you except for clarity on direction, they'll take it from there and run with it.
Some will need more air time with you, and if you can find a way to meet that need they will be satisfied and move forward with enthusiasm, inspiring others to jump on board.
Some will need some space to think and process...but keep an ear out for these people who are likely to internalise their feelings while they take care of everyone else. These team members need additional reassurance and appreciation from you, and when you make time to invest in them in this way, it will return ten-fold to you in their loyalty, courage and contribution.
To accomplish all of this, though, YOU need to be in touch with how YOU feel by giving yourself permission and space to be real with what's going on for you. Get support, lean on your own mentors, let out the unfiltered version to family or friends and prioritise your own self-care.
Do this and you will be well prepared to be open and transparent in your communication, and clear and centred in your energy when you show up with your team. This is the version of you they need right now.
Overcoming this global situation demands us to be more than we've ever been before. Together it will propel us forward into new levels of understanding and ways of working well together.
