My experience coaching successful men over 40 in leadership is that underneath the Superman exterior there is often a broken spirit. Not acknowledged, not talked about, not given space to be.
An accomplished man driving himself to do more, be better – in business, in life, as a partner, a father. Leaving little buffer for himself.
Success is achieved, fulfilment continues to elude him.
It’s common for him to feel that there’s no space to be anything but the one in control, making decisions, taking care of everyone. The responsibility of it can ignite him, but if he doesn’t feel free to let go sometimes, it can empty him.
The masculine quest is for freedom, the feminine desire is for connection. Coaching many professional women (and being one myself!), I have found it to be true that we can begrudge a man’s need for freedom with expectations he will fulfil our desire for connection.
Men share that their work is a known, “I know who I am in my job, but at home I don’t know who to be, how to get it right. Nothing seems to be enough.”
Resolving his inner struggle brings him clarity, ease and freedom.
As a leader he becomes more engaging, as a partner he becomes more interested, as a father he becomes more present.
His fulfilment is a beacon for everyone.