Conversations With People Who Hate Me


Dylan Marron, creator and host of the podcast ‘Conversations with people who hate me’…does exactly that.

As a writer, performer and video maker, Dylan’s online success also attracted online hate.  He laughs now, but Dylan shares in his TED talk that it did not feel good at the time to be the recipient of open criticism and rejection.  To help cope with the hate, he decided to call some of the haters to ask a very simple question “why did you write that?”

In these real and honest conversations, Dylan is one of the rare people I’ve experienced who demonstrates what I believe are the 7 core capabilities of facilitating effective and impactful real conversations.  Conversations that humanise people to each other, resolve the obstacles to unlocking human potential, elevate thinking and leave everyone empowered.

You can hear Dylan in action here…



My 7 core capabilities of real conversations are a framework for leaders and teams to build trust.  A pathway to help people move through challenges that otherwise slow business down.

Becoming proficient in these 7 capabilities requires nothing more than a commitment to work on ourselves as much as we wish others would change.

From the inside out, real conversations must begin with a choice.

– Being the one who initiates an honest and brave conversation.

– Holding a clear intention and outcome for the conversation, but being light about how you get there.

– An unshakeable trust in yourself that, with integrity, honesty and openness, you will create the best possible result.

– Understanding that the person you are speaking with is so much more than any behaviour they have demonstrated.

– A state of wonder that inspires high quality questions and enables presence and listening.

– Holding yourself and the other person accountable to agreements, expectations and promises.

– Leaving the other person feeling supported, empowered and confident to step forward and try again, knowing you have their back.

Unlike Dylan, it’s likely you won’t be having conversations with people who hate you, however there is often a lot riding on difficult conversations for everyone involved.

The team.
The organisation.

As you prepare for a real conversation, taking a moment to reflect on these 7 core capabilities will help you, like Dylan, create unexpected and uplifting results.